“…but I took control of the situation…”

5 Apr

College students undergo many changes during their first-year in college. Many expect that all of them will happen immediately, when in reality, it is a long transition. One of the biggest transitions is learning to adjust to the new freedom that college brings from your parents. However, there are some of us for which, instead of growing apart, parents seem to be growing uncomfortably closer.

Chicken cartoon regarding personal responsibility

If this problem pertains to you, here are some questions to consider when trying to shift the base of power back to yourself and take care of the situation:

  • When I have an academic problem, what do I do? Your first inclination could be to call Mom & Dad, but first, step back and consider why? What can they do that you can’t? As a student, you are the one enrolled in classes, know the professors contact information, and are responsible for the class material. Once you realize how much control you have, you will also realize that you can handle it yourself. 
  • Are my parents “too” involved? This is a very serious question to consider: Are you uncomfortable with their level of involvement in your personal/school life? There are real consequences of having parents in “control” of your choices, such as depression, anxiety, and negative coping behaviors. Find the things you want control of, do your research, and present it to your parents to prove you are ready for your independence.
  • Freshman year was difficult. Will Sophomore year be different? Summer is a great time for advanced planning. Use your first-year experience to navigate the university. Determine what resources you neglected to use, or should have used more often, and plan on how you can incorporate them into your semester next year.

You’re on your way to being a fully independent adult, so make sure you take the steps to develop as an individual and take on more responsibilities like choosing your major, finding job opportunities, doing community service, etc. You can do it!

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