#FearlessFebruary: So What You’re Saying Is…I Have to be a Grown Up Now?

27 Feb

Senior year baby!

 ph

Tis’ the year for creating the last long-lasting memories of college, celebrating not having REAL adult responsibilities, senioritis (which honestly started junior year for me), and any other great things that come with almost graduating!

However, not all is sunshine and butterflies. At this point there is decisions to be made. Life gets real. ADULT LIFE IS ON ITS WAY!

ph

And if you aren’t ready, it will catch you by surprise… like it did with me!

So what are my fears you ask? Failed plans. Uncertainty. Rejection. Sucking at real adult life.

ph

Funnily enough…I’ve had to come face-to-face with all of these fears real fast and real hard this month.

So let me tell you how I went from having my life all figured out to facing the beast of uncertainty.

From day one of freshman year, I knew that my education would not stop at undergrad. In my mind I had it all figured out. I would graduate from the U of A and immediately pursue a PhD in clinical psychology. Now as a senior I know that 1) Clinical psychology is a VERY competitive program taking only 3% of 200+ applicants and 2) grad school is expensive! But with the hopefulness of my freshman self, I applied to 3 universities for this program.

ph

Fear #1: Rejection √

About 2-3 weeks ago I got a decision letter from my dream school: SDSU. “Lucero, we are sorry to inform you that…..” rejection. Well, that sucks. I knew what I was getting into when I applied, so part of me was expecting it and the other part of me was crushed. So one rejection in and still waiting to hear from the other 2, I’ve made my mind that maybe graduate school won’t be the next step, which brings me to fear #2: failed plans √ .

Fear #3: Uncertainty √

I am all in with this fear. Literally, for the past 3 weeks this has been my reality… I have no idea what I am doing next! Part of me just wants to be like…

ph

Recognizing I don’t have much time I ponder whether I should apply for master’s programs or join Peace Corps? Get a job? What should I do????? This has been the most frustrating and disheartening experience so far.

As with any fear it’s important to understand its origin and the possible ways to overcome it. With this mentality, I’ve set out this week in search of potential next steps: jobs.

ph

 

I feared not going to graduate school straight from undergrad because it wasn’t part of my initial plan and I didn’t know what other paths were available to me. After talking with several people (boss, mentor, friends, etc.) I’ve come to the realization that this is a real opportunity for me!

ph

Having a year off before going into graduate school gives me the opportunity to: 1) reapply to the programs with better, stronger applications, 2) get experience that will not only build my resume further, but enlighten me about what I truly want to do, 3) give my brain and health a break (very stoked for this one), and lastly 4) explore my options.

It’s easy to forget sometimes when things aren’t going so great that there are a lot of great opportunities out there and that you can accomplish anything! Things happen for a  reason and honestly, I feel that although this wasn’t my original plan… I’m going to be very thankful in a year for that rejection because it made me open my eyes to the other opportunities out there for me!

Oh, how was February fearless? Well, I came to terms with my fears and created action plans that have helped me conquer or at least diminish these fears! Goodbye confusion and feeling rejected and hello job search!

ph

 

– Lucero

 

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